


Waking the Dead

by QueenOfSkaro



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Fili loving his brother, Frerin being a spoiled little brat, Gen, Guilt, Pranks, Proud!Thorin, Thorin loving his brother too, speaking about character death, uncle!Thorin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-19
Updated: 2014-08-19
Packaged: 2018-02-13 21:11:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,975
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2165367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenOfSkaro/pseuds/QueenOfSkaro
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He stood with his head held high and grinning like a fool, right there in his bedroom. His breath caught, stuttered and stilled and he couldn't bring himself to care, because for all of a second, he was alive again. He was alive and he hadn't failed him and there was still this grin on his face, half smugness, half the devil himself and already planning the next mischief to get them all into trouble and it was so beautiful he thought he had to cry.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Waking the Dead

**Author's Note:**

> Fill for a prompt on HKM
> 
>  
> 
> http://hobbit-kink.livejournal.com/10731.html?thread=22250475#t22250475

He stood with his head held high and grinning like a fool, right there in his bedroom. His breath caught, stuttered and stilled and he couldn't bring himself to care, because for all of a second, he was alive again. He was alive and he hadn't failed him and there was still this grin on his face, half smugness, half the devil himself and already planning the next mischief to get them all into trouble and it was so beautiful he thought he had to cry.

That was the moment big blue eyes looked up at him and widened and Thorin could breath again, because even if he wished it true, he knew better then to fool himself and he shouldn't have hoped, shouldn't have forgotten that there wasn't so much good that happened to his family. Their luck had run dry after Kilis birth, but two healthy nephews was so much more then they ever truly dreamed of. Of course their father had to die right after, just to keep a balance. Frerin was dead and he wouldn't just turn up alive again, it wasn't possible and Thorin knew that, he had a smart mind and was entirely rational, but in that short second -

"Uncle, I'm - I'm - oh Mahal, I'm sorry. I know I'm not allowed in here and I swear it won't ever happen again. I shouldn't have touched it, but it looked so pretty and I thought you were still in the forge and - I'm so sorry.", his nephew stammered, tugging at the straps that held the armour on his body. Then Thorins distress was obviously being noticed, he felt a little fishy in the head to be honest, but that was probably just the shock of seeing Frerin where he shouldn't be.

And it was creepy how much Fili looked like his long dead uncle, dead without even knowing the next Durin generation, too young to even be in battle, but you couldn't say no to a Durin. They should have tried harder, Thorin should have tried harder, but he was young and stupid himself and thought them invincible, impossible to be brought down by just mere orcs. 

The tugging turned frantic as the straps didn't give and Thorin was still just staring at him, face pale and eyes distant, as if he had seen a ghost, not even blinking and by Mahal, he was in so much trouble, he just knew it. 

Thorin took a deep breath and got himself back under control, the ghosts of his past didn't have a place here, his nephew looked frightened enough already and that was a look that just cut too deep, brought too many bad memories with it, being the last expression his brother wore, even in death.

A quick shake of his head brought him back for good this time and he took a few steps forward to stand infront of Fili, stilling the nervous hands with a hard grip.  
"Stop this nonsense, son. You are right, you have no business being here.", he growled, but soon lost all heat as the frightened eyes turned up to him, even bigger now that he stood right infront of him. The color was a little off, too bright to be Frerin and Thorin concentrated on that difference to keep his mind. Carefully he loosened the strap and stroked over the old, but cared for leather. 

"Do you know whose armour this is?", he asked, voice now subdued, as he took in the black steel he tended to over the last decades, making sure it always gleamed. It looked better than it ever had in Frerins possession, that much was certain. Fili shook his head, still looking up at him, now biting his lip, but Thorin wasn't angry, not really. Even though he probably should punish the lad, just for looking through his things. Nosy little dwarfling.

"It was your uncles. Frerin got it for his twentieth birthday from our father with the permission to start his sword training. He was the one giving father all his grey hairs, I tell you. You know what he did with the sword that went to that armour? He looked it over for all of five seconds, before giving it back to him and asking for a bow in the same color. The little shit could even smile all the way through what looked suspiciously like a nervous breakdown from your grandfather." 

Their was a little smile in the corners of his mouth, he could feel it, but he didn't mind it too much. Despite the trouble they all got in for it - as if it was Dis' and Thorins fault their little brother got corrupted - it was still a fond memory, from the bright grinning idiot that was his brother to the nervous twitch under his fathers healthy eye, it was still a good thing to remember.  
He heard Fili chuckle, way more relaxed now that his uncle got in the rare mood to talk.   
"Exactly like Kili.", the little blonde said, grinning now too and it was the same grin, that was for sure, but it didn't hurt as much as he thought it would. 

"Oh no, with Kili we always knew he was a little off, so to speak.", was Thorins answer, now a full blown grin on his lips. "We always knew to brace for the worst with that one, the bow wasn't a big surprise. But between being the crown prince of Erebor and finding a suitable husband for that mother of yours, father obviously forgot that his youngest had a mind of his own to reckon with, with that pest always framing Dis and me for his pranks."

"What did he do?", Fili asked, curious beyond belief, because Frerin was always a topic no one breached in their house. It was hurting the older ones, so Kili and Fili just left it. Thorin released another strap and took the first piece of armour off, laying it on the mattress to later place back into the chest at the foot of his bed. 

"Oh, lots of things. And never once did he have to face the consequences for his doings.", he rolled his eyes a little, but couldn't keep down the smile. "There was that one time where he sneaked down into the great kitchens and rewrote every salt and sugar bag they had in stack. The next day everything they cooked or baked tasted so horrible we had to eat the fruits and vegetables, because no one trusted the cooks to make anything edible anymore."

The laugh from his nephew almost sounded like Frerins, but it was far more innocent than his brothers ever was, always being a little devil and driving them all up the walls. Well, his siblings, because everyone else - especially their father and grandfather - thought him the perfect little prince. Oh, how they had hated him for being the spoiled little brat he was. 

"And then there was the time where he thought Dis had wronged him somehow, I can't remember what their quarrel was about. A week long he left the mountain every afternoon and your mother asked me to look what this was about, so I went and saw him tripping over the mountainside, almost falling half the time the clumsy fool and picking up blue flowers! And Dis and I laughed over the idea of Frerin having a crush and giving them flowers of all things, when he had a whole treasury to pick jewels from! But as Dis screamed the whole mountain down because our dear brother somehow managed to dye her beard the brightest blue you could ever imagine, it was Frerin and me laughing, so hard he had to lean on me to even stand and with tears streaming down his face."

Fili was laughing again, mirth clear on his face after hearing from his mothers plight, as Thorin set aside the breastplate.   
"It wasn't funny for long, let me assure you, because your grandfather was absolutely furious his oldest son could do something like that to his darling sister. I don't know how long I had to help in the stables after that, but I stole what was left of the paste Frerin made of the flowers and dyed what I could of his hair. He looked completely ridicoulous, because there wasn't enough left, so he just had blue spots all over his head. He wouldn't talk to me for weeks and that was the best reward I could have hoped for."

Thorin grew a little subdued at that, swallowing around the big lump that had settled in his throat. Back then he was grateful his brother wouldn't even look at him, pouting as he was with his blotchy hair that just slowly lost the color because it was blonde. They were never really close, but they still loved each other fiercly, at least he liked to believe that.  
His nephew, the exact replica of his dead brother, looked up at him again, bright blue eyes settled on his face.

"You miss him terribly, don't you?", he asked, full of youthful innocence and honest worry. With a sigh the dark-haired nodded, his throat closing off with tears not shared in several decades. He was too busy to cry. He released the last piece of black steel from Filis body as the younger spoke again."Does it still hurt?"

And he didn't really know what to say to that, wanted to placate his nephew out of reflex, but at the same time knowing that the blonde wanted an honest answer. So he swallowed, breathed slowly and settled heavy eyes on the younger.  
"Like an open wound. And I don't think it will ever stop hurting.", he answered, as honest as he could bring himself to be, because he couldn't tell the dwarfling of the guilt that was eating him alive, or the nightmares he still had, or the prayers he sent to Mahal all those years ago to bring Frerin back, to just bring him back and take him instead. 

Fili nodded, looking so wise and mature that Thorins heart hurt a little as it swelled with pride.  
"Like it would if I ever lose Kili. I can't imagine a life without him." Voice so earnest, so young and the older really hoped his nephew would never know the pain of losing a brother. He knew that he wouldn't just lose one sister-son if anything happend, he would lose both. They just weren't made for life without the other. He clamped his hand on the smaller ones shoulder.   
"Then make sure it will never be an issue. Take care of him, protect him. You are his big brother. It is your job to keep that hot head alive."

Maybe he shouldn't have said that, giving someone so young such great responsibilty wasn't fair, but on his face he could see that his words weren't even needed. Fili already knew about his duty and his heart filled with more pride. He leant their foreheads together for only a second, before sending the blonde out of his room.  
He took the black breastplate in his hands and stroked a moment over the old, but sturdy metal, before putting the armour back into the chest where it belonged. He would always take care of it, he had sworn to himself. It was part of his punishment. Always looking after the armour his baby brother died in. The armour that just couldn't protect him, no matter how good it was. No breastplate could protect someone from an arrow right into the eye. But it had been Thorins duty to be there and prevent it and he had failed. So he just kept punishing himself until someday, in the far future, he can perhaps forgive himself.


End file.
